Even
before Islam was introduced to Yathrib, Rumaysa was known
for her excellent character, the power of her intellect
and her independent attitude of mind. She was known by
various names including Rumaysa and Ghumaysa, but these
were possibly nicknames. One historian says that her real
name was Sahlah but later she was popularly known as Umm
Sulaym.
Umm
Sulaym was first married to Malik ibn an-Nadr and her son
by this marriage was the famous Anas ibn Malik, one of the
great companions of the Prophet.
Umm
Sulaym was one of the first women of Yathrib to accept Islam.
She was influenced by the refined, dedicated and persuasive
Musab ibn Umayr who was sent out as the first missionary
or ambassador of Islam by the noble Prophet. This was after
the first pledge of Aqabah. Twelve men of Yathrib had gone
to Aqabah on the outskirts of Makkah to pledge loyalty to
the Prophet. This was the first major break through for
the mission of the Prophet for many years.
Umm
Sulaym's decision to accept Islam was made without the knowledge
or consent of her husband, Malik ibn an-Nadr. He was absent
from Yathrib at the time and when he returned he felt some
change had come over his household and asked his wife: "Have
you been rejuvenated?" "No," she said, "but I (now) believe
in this man (meaning the Prophet Muhammad)."
Malik
was not pleased especially when his wife went on to announce
her acceptance of Islam in public and instruct her son Anas
in the teachings and practice of the new faith. She taught
him to say la ilaha ilia Allah and Ash hadu anna Muhammada-r
Rasulullah. The young Anas repeated this simple but profound
declaration of faith clearly and emphatically.
Umm
Sulaym's husband was now furious. He shouted at her: "Don't
corrupt my son." "I am not corrupting him ," she replied
firmly.
Her
husband then left the house and it is reported that he was
set upon by an enemy of his and was killed. The news shocked
but apparently did not upset Umm Sulaym greatly. She remained
devoted to her son Anas and was concerned about his. proper
upbringing. She is even reported to have said that she would
not marry again unless Anas approved.
When
it was known that Umm Sulaym had become a widow, one man,
Zayd ibn Sahl, known as Abu Talhah, resolved to become engaged
to her before anyone else did.
He
was rather confident that Umm Sulaym would not pass him
over for another. He was after all a strong and virile person
who was quite rich and who possessed an imposing house that
was much admired. He was an accomplished horseman and a
skilful archer and, moreover, he belonged to the same clan
as Umm Sulaym, the Banu Najjar.
Abu
Talhah proceeded to Umm Sulaym's house. On the way he recalled
that she had been influenced by the preaching of Musab ibn
Umayr and had become a Muslim.
"So
what?" he said to himself. "Was not her husband who died
a firm adherent of the old religion and was he not opposed
to Muhammad and his mission?"
Abu
Talhah reached Umm Sulaym's house. He asked and was given
permission to enter. Her son Anas was present. Abu Talhah
explained why he had come and asked for her hand in marriage.
"A
man like you, Abu Talhah ," she said, "is not (easily) turned
away. But I shall never marry you while you are a kafir,
an unbeliever."
Abu
Talhah thought she was trying to put him off and that perhaps
she had already preferred someone wealthier and more influential.
He said to her:
"What
is it that really prevents you from accepting me, Umm Sulaym?
Is it the yellow and the white metals (gold and silver)?"
"Gold
and silver?" she asked somewhat taken aback and in a slightly
censuring tone. "Yes," he said. "I swear to you, Abu Talhah,
and I swear to God and His Messenger that if you accept
Islam, I shall be pleased to accept you as a husband, without
any gold or silver. I shall consider your acceptance of
Islam as my mahr."
Abu
Talhah understood well the implications of her words. His
mind turned to the idol he had made from wood and on which
he lavished great attention in the same way that important
men of his tribe venerated and cared for their personal
idols.
The
opportunity was right for Umm Sulaym to stress the futility
of such idol worship and she went on: "Don't you know Abu
Talhah, that the god you worship besides Allah grew from
the earth?" "That's true," he said.
"Don't
you feel stupid while worshipping part of a tree while you
use the rest of it for fuel to bake bread or warm yourself?
(If you should give up these foolish beliefs and practices)
and become a Muslim, Abu Talhah, I shall be pleased to accept
you as a husband and I would not want from you any sadaqah
apart from your acceptance of Islam."
"Who
shall instruct me in Islam?" asked Abu Talhah. "I shall,"
Umm Sulaym replied. "How?"
"Utter
the declaration of truth and testify that there is no god
but Allah and that Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah. Then
go to your house, destroy your idol and throw it away."
Abu
Talhah left and reflected deeply on what Umm Sulaym had
said. He came back to her beaming with happiness.
"I
have taken your advice to heart. I declare that there is
no god but Allah and I declare that Muhammad is the Messenger
of Allah."
Umm
Sulaym and Abu Talhah were married. Anas, her son, was pleased
and the Muslims would say: "We have never yet heard of a
mahr that was more valuable and precious than that of Umm
Sulaym for she made Islam her mahr."
Umm
Sulaym was pleased and delighted with her new husband who
placed his unique energies and talents in the service of
Islam. He was one of the seventy three men who swore allegiance
to the Prophet at the second Pledge of Aqabah. With him,
according to one report, was his wife Umm Sulaym. Two other
women, the celebrated Nusaybah bint Kab and Asma bint Amr
witnessed Aqabah and took the oath of allegiance to the
Prophet.
Abu
Talhah was devoted to the Prophet and took enormous delight
in simply looking at him and listening to the sweetness
of his speech. He participated in all the major military
campaigns. He lived a very ascetic life and was known to
fast for long periods at a time. It is said that he had
a fantastic orchard in Madinah with date palms and grapes
and running water. One day while he was performing Salat
in the shade of the trees, a beautiful bird with brightly
colored plumage flew in front of him. He became engrossed
in the scene and forgot how many rakats he had prayed. Two?
Three? When he completed the Prayer he went to the Prophet
and described how he had been distracted. In the end, he
said: "Bear witness, Messenger of Allah, that I hand over
this orchard as a charity for the sake of Allah, the Exalted."
Abu
Talhah and Umm Sulaym had an exemplary Muslim family life,
devoted to the Prophet and the service of Muslims and Islam.
The Prophet used to visit their home. Sometimes when the
time of Prayer came, he would pray on a mat provided by
Umm Sulaym. Sometimes also he would have a siesta in their
house and, as he slept, she would wipe the perspiration
from his forehead. Once when the Prophet awoke from his
siesta, he asked: "Umm Sulaym, what are you doing?" "I am
taking these (drops of perspiration) as a barakah (blessing)
which comes from you ," she replied.
At
another time, the Prophet went to their house and Umm Sulaym
offered him dates and butterfat but he did not have any
of it because he was fasting. Occasionally, she would send
her son Anas with bags of dates to his house.
It
was noticed that the Prophet, peace be on him, had a special
compassion for Umm Sulaym and her family and when asked
about it, he replied: "Her brother was killed beside me."
Umm
Sulaym also had a well-known sister, Umm Haram, the wife
of the imposing Ubadah ibn as-Samit. She died at sea during
a naval expedition and was buried in Cyprus. Umm Sulaym's
husband, Abu Talhah, also died while he was on a naval expedition
during the time of the third Caliph, Uthman, and was buried
at sea.
Umm
Sulaym herself was noted for her great courage and bravery.
During the Battle of Uhud, she carried a dagger in the folds
of her dress. She gave water to and tended the wounded and
she made attempts to defend the Prophet when the tide of
battle was turning against him. At the Battle of Khandaq,
the Prophet saw her carrying a dagger and he asked her what
she was doing with it. She said: "It is to fight those who
desert."
"May
God grant you satisfaction in that," replied the Prophet.
In the face of adversity, Umm Sulaym displayed a unique
calmness and strength. One of her young sons (Umayr) fell
sick and died while her husband was away looking after his
orchards. She bathed the child and wrapped him in shrouds.
She told others at her home that they should not inform
Abu Talhah because she herself wanted to tell him.
Umm
Sulaym had another son whose name was Abdullah. A few days
after she gave birth, she sent Anas with the baby and a
bag of dates to the Prophet. The Prophet placed the baby
on his lap. He crushed the dates in his mouth and put some
in the baby's mouth. The baby sucked the dates with relish
and the Prophet said: "The Ansar are only fond of dates."
Abdullah
eventually grew up and had seven children all of whom memorized
the Quran.
Umm
Sulaym was a model Muslim, a model wife and mother. Her
belief in God was strong and uncompromising. She was not
prepared to endanger her faith and the upbringing of her
children for wealth and luxury, however abundant and tempting.
She
was devoted to the Prophet and dedicated her son Anas to
his service. She took the responsibility of educating her
children and she played an active part in public life, sharing
with the other Muslims the hardships and the joys of building
a community and living for the pleasure of God.